Learning to love yourself!

The thing that is hard and amazing is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. 

It’s a new year! It’s time to start that self-care journey again. New Year = better version of yourself! There are thousands of ways where you could love yourself, and finding the best one for you is key. So hopefully, this will start you off on the right track for your journey of learning to love yourself.  

We can start with six simple steps to love yourself. 

1. Giving up the need to be perfect 
2. Don’t compare yourself to others 
3. Stop accommodating others 
4. Stop caring what people think 
5. Choosing yourself over others 
6. Love yourself before you love others 

Most people find starting the journey the most challenging part. Once you start, you will wonder why you haven’t been doing it from the beginning. Giving up the need to be perfect may go against every fiber of your being, but not being your idea of perfect isn’t going to stop the world from spinning. It also will probably still be better than other people’s perfect. All those negative thoughts going through your mind that come with you not being perfect.  

• Stop what you are doing and close your eyes. Take a deep breath and let every thought come through, the good, bad and ugly, and you will see what happens next. Your brain does a fantastic job of protecting you. 

Comparing yourself to other people will only lead to you forgetting about yourself. Who you are and what makes you so unique.  

• Take a moment out of your day to write down what you are grateful for (for example, your life, all the people, the experiences, the things you have, the places you've been, the food you've eaten, the small things that you love about yourself). 

Stop accommodating others over yourself. Learn to say no. Saying no and implementing boundaries can be one of the hardest things people can do if they haven’t done it before. People become accustomed to you always saying yes and being a doormat. Learning to say no will empower you and make you realize they were treating you not the way you were treating them. 

Ask yourself some of these questions: 

• What does it give me to accommodate others? 
• If I couldn’t accommodate the needs of others, what could happen? 
• Truthfully have these people even ever asked you to do this for them? 

Stop caring what people think. Most of the time, people aren’t judging you because they are too busy with their own lives, and all the negative thoughts are from your brain making up stories. 

Choose to honour yourself. Take yourself out one day a week or a month on a date. This could be as simple as buying flowers and going to the cinema by yourself or going to a restaurant alone. Choosing to honour yourself is all about making sure you are taking time for yourself to truly appreciate that you are amazing! 

Do whatever feels loving, nourishing and celebrates you! 

Love yourself before you love others. You can’t truly love someone until you love yourself. If you can’t treat yourself right, then you won’t be able to love someone else. This point also links with choosing to honour yourself, as it is the first step in loving yourself. 

• Take yourself out on a date night alone. Or, do something you have always wanted to do but can’t find someone to do it with (like solo travelling).